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communication
November 2009 
Keeping In Touch
Posted on Oct 31st, 2009
by 
FourWinds
FourWinds
Keeping in touch with people has got to be one of the hardest mountains I have to climb--and still climbing, in fact. I bumped into an old friend from high school earlier this week while walking to one of my classes. I was taken back a bit, and I recall my heart skipped a couple beats. This was one of the most frightening moments I've had in a while. The awkard reacquainted smile and the hesitant inclination to find out how this friend has been doing. All of these things swirled together and produced a slight panic attack that somehow made the impression that, deep down, I was still struggling to connect with people.
Since graduation of 2008, I've practically cut off communications with friends from high school. I feel as if though they never really knew me, and I figured that they probably had better friends to hang out with, go to the movies with, or do whatever. Outside of school, there wasn't really much to talk about. Also, I was very pessimistic of people back then, so I never really gave the effort to go out of my way to take the initiative to ask them to do anything at all.
I guess one of the reasons why I tend to, from out of the blue, cut off communications is that I needed the time to recharge from people. I get drained a lot when I'm around people. It's not easy to say, "Hey, I gotta recharge for about 2-3 weeks, so don't take it the wrong way." Frankly, it's not realistic. And who is going to hang around someone that just disappears all of a sudden?
Another reason is that I just hate confrontation. I've literally disappeared without a trace, and when I bump into an old friend, they'll probably wonder, "Hey, why haven't you kept in touch?" I just hate having to explain myself because, for one thing, I can't articulate my emotions into verbal communication, and second, I am almost certain they'll never be able to understand what's on my mind. Maybe they're an outgoing extrovert, and could never fathom the struggles and the hurdles introverts have to go through.
Finally, I just hate small talk. Arguably, that's what high school students talk about all the time. I never really found myself being that interested in small talk, but I went along with it just to get through the day. Quite honestly, I don't remember having a deep conversation with anyone. The empty exchange of small talk really irritates me.
However, being in college has taught me that small talk is all right. Sometimes, it's the only form of communication that helps people get to know one another. I've realized how important a simple, "How are you?" or a "Have a nice day" can have such an essential role in brightening up someone else's day. For me, it's nice to hear it. Also, small talk is like a pebble being thrown in a lake. It can ripple into other subjects and make deep conversations more likely to emerge.
Staying in touch with people is still hard for me. I know I can't be best friends with everyone, but I know I still need to make the effort if I'm hoping to secure lasting friendships with others. Hopefully, I'll get better at this.
Thinh Nguyen
Since graduation of 2008, I've practically cut off communications with friends from high school. I feel as if though they never really knew me, and I figured that they probably had better friends to hang out with, go to the movies with, or do whatever. Outside of school, there wasn't really much to talk about. Also, I was very pessimistic of people back then, so I never really gave the effort to go out of my way to take the initiative to ask them to do anything at all.
I guess one of the reasons why I tend to, from out of the blue, cut off communications is that I needed the time to recharge from people. I get drained a lot when I'm around people. It's not easy to say, "Hey, I gotta recharge for about 2-3 weeks, so don't take it the wrong way." Frankly, it's not realistic. And who is going to hang around someone that just disappears all of a sudden?
Another reason is that I just hate confrontation. I've literally disappeared without a trace, and when I bump into an old friend, they'll probably wonder, "Hey, why haven't you kept in touch?" I just hate having to explain myself because, for one thing, I can't articulate my emotions into verbal communication, and second, I am almost certain they'll never be able to understand what's on my mind. Maybe they're an outgoing extrovert, and could never fathom the struggles and the hurdles introverts have to go through.
Finally, I just hate small talk. Arguably, that's what high school students talk about all the time. I never really found myself being that interested in small talk, but I went along with it just to get through the day. Quite honestly, I don't remember having a deep conversation with anyone. The empty exchange of small talk really irritates me.
However, being in college has taught me that small talk is all right. Sometimes, it's the only form of communication that helps people get to know one another. I've realized how important a simple, "How are you?" or a "Have a nice day" can have such an essential role in brightening up someone else's day. For me, it's nice to hear it. Also, small talk is like a pebble being thrown in a lake. It can ripple into other subjects and make deep conversations more likely to emerge.
Staying in touch with people is still hard for me. I know I can't be best friends with everyone, but I know I still need to make the effort if I'm hoping to secure lasting friendships with others. Hopefully, I'll get better at this.
Thinh Nguyen
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