Woke up this afternoon and just found out my brother's car was damaged from a hit-and-run. The damage is minor, so I'm not too sure if insurance will cover the expenses for repairing it. I don't know whoever did this could ever sleep at night. Just yesterday, someone broke into one of our neighbor's house and burgalized their house. Two police cars arrived and officers were investigating the scene. What kind of New Year is this?!

One of my assignments in school right now is to think of something that's made a great impact on my life--for an oral communication class. I'm horrible at speaking. Many times, I can't find the right words to say and always seem stumble on my speech impediment. All right, here is my train of thought.

I remember going to Vietnam in the winter of 2006. I went with my parents and my older brother, and we had just arrived in Ho Chi Minh City where I could find myself inhaling heavily due to the hot, humid atmosphere. We spent a few days in the city at my grandparents' house (Dad's side) before packing up and traveling to the countryside.  I suppose the whole experience has made me become more aware of the differences in the world and be made conscious of how these differences should be embraced.  The cultural conditioning in which an individual lives often times determines their outlook on the world, and I wouldn't want to be judgemental about others because people grow up in different situations and different opportunities.  Some of the most smartest and brightest kids grow up in poverty, and often times, they are not acknowledged because the circumstances don't allow it.  Yeah, I guess that's why this trip has made a great impact in my life.


Thinh Nguyen

The sky now is slowly being blanketed by the dark enigma that is night.  It looks like I'm stuck at school til late into the evening.  My philosophy class begins later, and I sort of enjoy the somber feeling it is at night--so quiet, so peaceful, yet so tiresome.  If I could afford an iPod, I'd be in heaven being outside and looking down from the school and then tilting my head upwards to gaze at the stars above.  How sweet would that be?

Hard beginning drawing today.  Everyone hung up their homework, and the class did a sort of gallery-like walk around the room to see everyone's work.  Everyone has their own style when it comes to doing their artwork, and it's pretty interesting to see different interpretations of their still life drawing.  The range of experience, of course, is varied, and that's understandable.  If there's one important thing I learned in life, it's that the best thing you can do is improve.  Growth, either in a personal or an academic setting, is crucial to bettering oneself.  That said; practice!


Thinh Nguyen

Definately New Age-inspired music.  I remember hearing the musical score, Echoing Wall, written by Kitaro.  I've been stuck with hearing a lot of film scores or instrumental-based styled music ever since.  I suppose it's because of the atmospheric chill that it sends down my spine that makes me more tempted to other new age artists.  When I'm depressed or need to feel inspired, I listen to these atmospheric music scores.  Music heals the soul.

1)  In India, there grew the Tree of the Sun.  This tree housed many animals and critters, including a family of 6 who lived in a great castle.  The father's name is not disclosed, and he had 5 children. 4 sons and 1 daughter.

2)  The Book of Truth contained fragments of wisdom and insight to life, but the portion of the "Life after Death" did not particularly reveal anything; this pained the father (because there is no clear, concise answer).

3)  The father would frequently tell his children about the "true, the beautiful, and the good" and how these 3 aspects tied the world together;  these 3 crystallized into what is to be called the "philosopher's stone." (The stone could help man obtain the existence of God.)

4)  All 4 brothers dreamt the same dream of obtaining the philosopher's stone.  The eldest brother (the Seer) sets off on a journey.  He could see the appealing and unappealing things (attacked by them).  He was blinded by the evil spirit, who blew particles into his eyes while he was discovering the "true, the good, and the beautiful."  He lost hope for being blind--lost faith in himself.

5)  Second oldest brother sets off next (the Hearer).  However, the Hearer heard "bad singing, gossip and idle words, scandal and slander, groaning and moaning."  He plunged his fingures inside his ears til the drums burst.  He gave up on himself.

6)  Third oldest son then journeys out and about (the "Smeller").  He wrote songs and poetry through the inspiration of smells.  However, the spirit brought "soot and incense," which made the third son vanished in smoke.

7) Youngest son voyages outward for the stone (the "Taster").  Taste is unique because it determines what goes into the mouth and  is later understood in the mind.  He wants to taste all there is.  He travels on an air balloon, but he lands on a church steeple and the balloon flys away.  He intends to rest while the wind is still blowing, and there he remained.

8)  Blind daughter dreams of her brothers and wishes to find them, as well as the stone.  She ties her strongly-woven thread to her father's house and plucks 4 leaves from the Tree of the Sun to have the wind carry it to her brothers in case she would not meet them.

9)  She was very determined.  She could see through her fingertips, hear the sweet songs of the birds, smell the orange groves and apple orchards so much so that seemed to have tasted it.  Her heart echoes the following human thoughts and feelings.

   "To trust in thyself and God is best,
In His holy will forever to rest."

10)  The daughter collected dust on her journey, given to her by the wind.  She returned home, but then a strong wind rushed in towards the Book of Truth.  The dust from her hand brushed on one of the page and the word BELIEVE glowed.

Theme:  Have faith in others--your friends, family, and especially yourself.  Believe that you are capable of doing great things.  And despite of what "disabillities" you may have, know that a disability always promotes an attribute to diligence and determination.  Believe in yourself.

Life seems to be meaningless lately.  Things have changed so much.  When did I go wrong?  Maybe this is just a phase--who knows.  Sometimes I wish I can just go on top of a mountain and scream on the top of my lungs and get everything off my chest.  I wonder if I can keep up with this race of time and space.  I know I'm losing by at least a million miles, but I know I musn't give up.  However lackluster I'm feelings right now--at this very moment--I know that there will be better days ahead.

Though, I do question if I'm just kidding myself.  I guess I'm a pessimist.  I've gotten used to being disappointed in myself many times before, so that's no surprise.  I didn't do well in piano; didn't pass any ap exams in high school; took the longest out of all my brothers to do driver's training; rarely do I take a stand; am always timid; never so much as gone to a party; never had a girlfriend yet; and not performing as well as I should have in other aspects of life.  These are very embarassing things for me to write, let alone talk about.  Maybe it's because I've lived a pretty sheltered life.  Much of the knowledge I've gained is by observing others and not really experiencing them firsthand.  Yeah, I've watched documentaries on how people have gone through horrible experiences--such as drugs and alcohol--and they would urge the youth to not make the same mistakes as they have.  But does inspiring others take away that intangible thread of making someone stronger by having them grow from these experiences from a personal level?  So should one make mistakes in order to learn from them?  I guess it depends, really.  Certainly, there are varying degrees of mistakes, and they affect each person differently based on their subjective premise.  Obviously, I would not want to make the mistake of abusing others in a life-threatening degree.  Also, there are things that cannot be erased, so I commend the people who urge others to not make the same mistakes as they have.  But what about the mistakes that one can make?  Well for starters, making mistakes in math class is always easy.  But aside from school, how about lifestyle situations?  This is tough because I don't have that much in experience to begin with, despite being 19 years-old.  So just now, as writing this down, have I been really living all this time?

Like I've mentioned, I've lived a pretty sheltered life.  Much of my reality is purely based on observation and stories from others.  Maybe it's this: I'm scared of disappointments, so that's why I'm always afraid to make a mistake.  Ironically, maybe this has been my mistake all along--to not embrace my disappointments.  That is it.  From now on, I'll just live--not just on sunny days but on rainy days too.

Thinh Nguyen

Is there such thing as an absolute Truth?  Or are there different variations of truths?  It seems that the truths people seek lay hidden, far away from human hands and for good reason.  Of course, the Truth is relative, as claimed by the Sophists.  Apparently, that statement has just rendered it meaningless, so the circularity remains.

From the looks of it, there is no absolute Truth--or rather, an objective Truth because the Truth likes to hide.  Furthermore, if someone shouts out, "What is justice?  What is beauty? What is the meaning of life?" then there'd be a mosaic of distinct answers, respectfully given based on a person's subjectivity.  These cryptic questions are frequently being addressed by scholars, philosophers, and even 80 year-old senior citizens alike.  Frankly, they're fun to discuss and ponder about, but will this continuous wild goose chase ever come to an end?  Certainly not, because it is human nature to ask ourselves these questions.  Moreover, what triggers people to venture into these subjects, aside from the fixed natural mechanisms of eating and reproducing?  Perhaps this happens because humans want to fill some kind of inner void.  The self satisfaction that one just realized how exhilarating it was to go parachuting off thousands of feet above the Earth would make any risk taker happy. 

No one knows what the Truth really is because it's based on interpretation.  People can never touch it, grab it, or fondle it.  It is not attainable.  Paradoxically, it's because it is not attainable that makes easier to find, for the Truth is within everyone to experience.


Thinh Nguyen